Behind My Chronic Professional Burnout: Alexithymia
Alexithymia: ἀ- (a-, "not") + λέξις (léxis, "speaking") + θυμός (thumós, "heart") = "no words for emotions"
I have had bouts of crippling social anxiety for my whole career. I lived for over five decades before I got diagnosed with ADHD, and gaining a better understanding of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which is a primary feature of adult ADHD, has helped me work with my social anxiety. Getting prescribed guanfacine was a game-changer for lessening my social anxiety without noticeable side effects.
I still had major challenges with understanding social cues from others and reading the “emotions” of a situation, which still caused anxiety. This week, during another deep dive into understanding my neurodivergence, I came across alexithymia. I have come to call it “emotional dyslexia.”
Alexithymia, a neurodevelopmental condition that causes difficulty in identifying and describing emotions, has long been considered a trait of autism. But recent research has suggested that it’s actually a distinct condition that affects perhaps one in ten neurotypical people and around 40% of people with ADHD, and an estimated 50–60% of autistic people. The three foundational traits of alexithymia include difficulty identifying emotions, difficulty describing feelings, and an externally-oriented thinking style.
The insula, a small region located deep in the brain, is one of the key brain regions involved in alexithymia and plays a crucial role in emotional processing and self-awareness. Studies have shown that people with alexithymia have reduced activity in the insula, as well as in other regions of the brain associated with emotional processing. Alexithymia is also associated with specific structural abnormalities in the insula.
It is believed that there are two main types of alexithymia with a variety of severities for each: primary and secondary. Primary or trait alexithymia means that it is prevalent in multiple environments and even with therapy it does not change. This can be due to hereditary conditions or a brain injury. Secondary or state alexithymia is symptomatic and can disappear after the stressful situation is removed. For people like me who also experience complex PTSD from adverse early childhood events, it can be an intermittent state depending on stress levels.
In the workplace, alexithymia can affect the individual’s ability to understand and express their own emotions and those of their team. This can make it difficult for them to connect with colleagues and managers, possibly leading to misunderstandings and conflicts, and can make it hard for them to succeed in a team-oriented or customer-facing work environment. This can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection in the workplace and higher rates of burnout.
Working with or managing someone with alexithymia can be challenging, but there are ways to better understand and support the person.
For managers and coworkers:
Learn about the condition: Understanding more about alexithymia can help you to better understand yourself and how the condition affects you.
Be patient and supportive: People with alexithymia may have difficulty identifying and expressing their emotions, so it is important to be patient and understanding.
Respect boundaries: People with alexithymia may have difficulty expressing their emotions and may need more alone time or space. Respect their boundaries and give them space when they need it.
Be a good listener: Be a good listener and try to understand the person’s perspective, even if you don’t understand the emotions they are expressing.
Be understanding: Remember that people with alexithymia may have a harder time understanding the emotions of others; have patience and try to understand their perspective.
Play a role in creating a supportive environment: Providing resources and support for emotional intelligence, communication, and teamwork. Just know that people experiencing alexithymia don’t lack emotional intelligence! My experience of the condition is “emotionally dyslexic,” or difficulties with accuracy and/or fluency with the emotional states and presentation in self and others.
If you are experiencing alexithymia:
Learn about the condition: Understanding more about alexithymia can help you to better understand yourself and how the condition affects you, especially if you have other factors, like ADHD or autism.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques can help you to become more aware of your emotions and bodily sensations.
Seek therapy: A therapist who is trained in working with alexithymia can help you to identify and express your emotions more effectively.
Find a support group: Joining a support group of people with alexithymia can provide you with a sense of community and understanding.
Use visual aids: Try practicing identifying your emotions with an emotion wheel when you are feeling resourced so that you can strengthen your mapping of your interoception to your feelings.
Be patient with yourself: It can take time to learn to understand and express your emotions, and it’s important to be patient with yourself during this process.
Have patience with others (if you are able): People with alexithymia may have a harder time understanding the emotions of others. Try to have patience and try to understand their perspective and don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t do it in the moment.
Communicate your needs: Make sure to communicate your needs to friends, family, and colleagues, and let them know how they can help you.
It is important to note that alexithymia is not a disorder and is not a choice, and it can range from mild to severe. With more awareness, understanding, and support, individuals who experience alexithymia can learn to navigate professional settings. Employers and managers can better understand and support employees with alexithymia, and help them to thrive in the workplace.
An emotion wheel for identifying your emotions can be extremely helpful in building your own emotion map. From Human Systems (https://humansystems.co/emotionwheels)
